juptiers:

fclklore:

so i just saw tfa for the second time and (not that i didn’t already have an immense love and appreciation for finn) but i just have SO MANY EMOTIONS ABOUT FINN!!

it’s so easy to forget he was a stormtrooper when you watch him because it’s just so counter-intuitive to everything that he is. here’s this boy raised to slaughter people, raised with a code number instead of a name, and while he tries to be selfish and save his own skin, his actions betray him time and time again. this boy whose natural instinct is to continuously grab rey’s hand, a girl he barely knows and who just recently tried to beat the shit out of him, and pull her to safety–not because he doesn’t think she’s capable, but because his first and only thought is to keep her safe.

imagine someone like that growing up in the first order, being trained as a merciless killer, prepared to murder innocent people if given the orders. someone whose absolute core instincts are to protect those around him, handed a gun and told to kill.

imagine what his childhood must’ve been like, the cognitive dissonance of doing what he’s been raised to do and the all-consuming guilt and deep knowledge that what he was doing was WRONG. how many times had he been called weak, or been reprimanded by his higher-ups for having too much compassion?

basically what i’m saying is that finn is wonderful and beautiful and deserves every ounce of love in the galaxy

AAAAAA this is all so true and finn is just. so BRAVE and that is the number one reason i love him so much. he’s not brave in the usual way of men in blockbuster movies; he doesn’t leap into danger with a big smile and plot his way out of it in the middle of everything. he is scared shitless half the time; stressed out the other half. but he keeps going. he tells himself to stay calm and he takes rey’s hand and he tries to smile and he keeps on going, because he knows that this is more important than his fear, more important than anything. finn is scared so often in this movie and no one ever laughs at him for it. i love that. i love that he’s allowed to be both scared and brave.

and finn wants to run; his inclination is to run; he tries to run. but he can’t, because rey is his friend, and he wants to help her. because poe was his friend, and he wants to honor him. because he knows right from wrong, and fighting is right, and running is wrong. staying is right, and leaving is wrong. 

and imagine the programming he has to work against, even now. imagine the little voices in his head telling him he’s a traitor and faithless and all he will do is betray everyone time and again. imagine how brave you must be to move around that, to push it aside, to say no, i am right and you are wrong. but finn knows right from wrong, and he’s going to make it, and –

gahhhhh. i am just so PROUD of this kid.